[[bio:verenjay]]
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bio:verenjay [2011/03/08 00:46] fed |
bio:verenjay [2011/03/08 17:34] (current) joe |
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| ....."A Reward!" said Streakybacon very loudly. "We write a notice to say that we will give a large something to anybody who finds Hrundag's Jaw. My name is ludicrous!"..... \\ | ....."A Reward!" said Streakybacon very loudly. "We write a notice to say that we will give a large something to anybody who finds Hrundag's Jaw. My name is ludicrous!"..... \\ | ||
| .....he explained that the person to write out this notice was Verenjay. "It was he who wrote the ones on my front door for me. Did you see them, Popo?" \\ | .....he explained that the person to write out this notice was Verenjay. "It was he who wrote the ones on my front door for me. Did you see them, Popo?" \\ | ||
| - | For some time now | + | For some time now Popo had been saying "Yes" and "No" in turn, with his eyes shut, to all that Streakybacon was saying, and having said, "Yes, yes," last time, he said "No, not at all," now, without really knowing what Streakybacon was talking about. He wasn't going to listen to a fuckin' pig. \\ |
| + | "Didn't you see them?" said Streakybacon, a little surprised. "Come and look at them now." \\ | ||
| + | So they went outside. And Popo looked at the Boar's luxury jacuzi and the notice below it, and he looked at the fangoriously-decorated hot-tub, and the more he looked at the bleeding fleshy hot-tub covered in teeth, the more he felt that he had seen something like it, somewhere else, sometime before. \\ | ||
| + | But he didn't really fuckin' care. He was thinking about ferrets. Filthy ferret strippers. \\ | ||
| + | "Handsome Jacuzi, isn't it?" said Streakybacon. \\ | ||
| + | Popo nodded. \\ | ||
| + | "It reminds me of something," he said, "but I can't think what. It's not that I'm stupid it's just I'm too busy thinking about Ferret Strippers. Where did you get it?" \\ | ||
| + | "I just came across it in the Geseque Caves. It was attached to a Wyrm, and I thought at first somebody owned it, so I kicked it, and nothing happened, and then I kicked it again very loudly, and nothing happened, and then it came off in a shower of blood & gore, and as nobody seemed to want it, I took it home, and----" \\ | ||
| + | "Hrundag," said Pooh solemnly, "you made a mistake. Somebody did want it." \\ | ||
| + | "Who?" \\ | ||
| + | "Hrundag. My client Hrundag. He was-- he was fond of it, you might say." \\ | ||
| + | "Fond of it?" \\ | ||
| + | "Attached to it," said Popo, getting closer, waving his sharp rock under Streakybacon's chin. \\ | ||
| + | So with these words he knocked Streakybacon over the head, cheesed it, came back with some much bigger stupider weasels, attached the jaw-come-jacuzi to a cart, knicked all Streakybacon's stuff, and cheesed it back to Hrundag; and when Telma had attached it on to it's right place again because it's not like she had more important things like saving someone's life or something, Hrundag trampled about the forest, snapping his jaw so happily that Popo came over all funny, and had to hurry home out of a natural sense of preseravtion for all living things. Hundreds Died. \\ | ||
| + | And, once he'd sold all the loot half an hour afterwards, he sang to himself proudly: \\ | ||
| + | //Who found the Jaw?// \\ | ||
| + | "I," said Popo, "At a quarter to two (Only it was quarter to eleven really), I found the Jaw!" \\ | ||
| + | "What in the name of Woden's Pants are all these Weasels doing in my house?" Cried Vandel. \\ | ||
| ==== Beyond ==== | ==== Beyond ==== | ||
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